A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

Nurse Charting Errors

• The left leg became numb at times and she walked it off.
  
• Patient has chest pains if she lies on her left side for over a year.
  
• Skin: somewhat pale but present.
  
• She was treated with mycostatin oral supositories.
  
• When you pin him down, he has some slowing of the stream.
  
• By the time she was admitted to the hospital her rapid heart had stopped and she was feeling much better.
  
• If he squeezed the back of his neck for 4 or 5 years it comes and goes.
  
• Dr. Jones is watching his prostate.
  
• Both the patient and the nurse herself reported passing flatus.
  
• On the 2nd day the knee was better, and on the 3rd day it had completely disappeared.
  
• Discharge Status: Alive but without permission.
  
• Father died in his 90's of female trouble in his prostate and his kidneys.
  
• Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank who felt we should sit tight on the abdomen and I agreed.
  
• At the time of onset of pregnancy, the mother was undergoing bronchoscopy.
  
• Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year-old female, mentally alert but forgetful.
  
• Patient left his white blood cells at another hospital.
  
• She had a miscarriage at the age of 4 months.
  
• Physician has been following the patient's breast for 6 years.
  
• The patient reports that she had considerable pain last night on intercourse in the abdomen.
  
• She left the hospital nursing her baby and draining clear urine.
  
• Husband also relates severe menstrual bleeding the past 2 periods.
  
• The patient was sent home in plaster.
  
• Patient was a great white male.
  
• The patient was seen about 4 weeks ago by a physician with a urethral drip.
  
• Patient was provoked by the food on her plate.
  
• This 14-year-old boy argued with a lawn mower which then attacked him.
  
• The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant, with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past 3 days.
  
• The patient is a 71-year-old female who fractured her little finger while beating up a cake.